the empty bucket list...

The classic mental games we play.

If you won a million dollars what would you do? But then again, most of us don't win a million dollars, or know people who have. On the other hand, a closer reality many of us brush up against is, "if you knew you were going to die in a year what would you do?" Watching Nicholson and Freeman living out their "bucket lists" is introspective entertainment, but truly reflecting on how we live our lives in the face of our mortality can be a bit scary. But that's not what I'm writing about... No really, this week in my small group from church we developed a very different question than focusing on death. What about your stuff???

Okay, what would you do if you knew you were going to lose everything you have in three months? In three months your bank accounts would be emptied, your house would be taken, your possessions confiscated, your career derailed, your professional reputation tarnished. There was nothing you could do to prevent it. If you doubled your money, buried gold in a cave, put it in a trust fund, or asked a friend to hold onto it, no matter what you did, the outcome would be the same. In three months you would have nothing to your name... what would you do?

This question came out of discussion Jesus' troubling parable in Luke 16. Troubling because it seems to give a big thumbs up to the dishonest, shrewd, rascal who cheats his employer. There are definitely some cultural things going on which don't blend well with the American mind...but the manager who was going to lose it all was forced to think, what do I do with what I have before I lose it. The "empty bucket list."

What would you do with that you have before it is all gone?

Here are some options I see:

• You could give it all to charity and noble causes knowing you won't have it anyway
• You could just keep on like nothing is different because it is how you want to live (or you're in denial)
• You could drop into a hole, overwhelmed by the impending loss
• You could bless the people you know with what you have while you have it

I'm sure there are options I'm not seeing, but these seem to cover the main options. If you spend it on yourself or just wallow by yourself, in the end all you will have is yourself. You and your memories of how great things once were. It sounds like a lonely and desperate place to be in a time of need. You spend it on yourself; great trips, memories, fun toys knowing it may be your last opportunity... it's an option....

If you give to the faceless masses, you are not much better off. Although the eternal reward factor is part of the equation and a source of hope in adversity... seems like a better option...

However, if you take what you have and generously pour it into other people's lives. If you build relationships and memories with those you are close to. If you share with friends, not to make friends, but just to love them. Not to bribe them into loving you, but out of your genuine love for them...then in the end you really have something - even if everything is lost.

So, just like our mortality and the mortality of those around us can cause us to think about how we are using our lives. The temporal nature of all that we have can cause us to think about how we use what God entrusts to us. 

• Are we being good managers (stewards)?
• Are we building relationships or impenetrable fortresses?
• Are we investing in true friendships or flimsy facades?
• Are we creating intimacy or careers?

Having stuff. Having wealth. These are fine tools when we use them to create what really lasts.

Kid's don't always know what they want...

Not so fun....

Not too long ago we were going to go out as a family and play in the snow.  It was a beautiful winter day, not too cold, fresh snow, what could go wrong?  Well the challenge was getting out the door - Corban (age 3.5) did not want to go.  The day before it wasn’t ideal, we weren’t prepared, and he had learned the unpleasant fact that if it isn’t done right - winter is cold and uncomfortable.  He didn’t want that again, and he sure he didn’t want to go out.

Now I’m no tiger dad (haven’t actually heard that term yet, but I’m sure it is coming), my kids waste time, get what they want, and we work hard to listen to them and respect them - but acquiescing to the emphatic determination of a three year old wasn’t going to fly in this situation.  We aren’t the type of family to give up after one bad experience - especially when there is ample evidence that playing in the snow is fun.  So, trying to balance my 21st century parenting influences with my old school sensibilities we negotiated.  He would go out, but if it was miserable (after giving it an honest go) a parent would take him in.

Surprise, surprise, surprise - he had a blast.  And then, after about 45 minutes he remembered the deal.  All of a sudden, “I want to go in now!”   So the question arises, do kids always know what they want?  Does being a good parent always mean immediately responding to every desire of your child?  He said, and truly believed he wanted to go in.... what to do?  Because I was pretty sure he didn’t know what would be the most fun.

Drawing from my 21st century arsenal of parenting - time to redirect.  Let’s see if he really wants to go in.  (FYI - if he indeed was ready to go in, we were ready to keep up our end of the deal) I listened, I acknowledged, and then I redirected to a new form of sliding on the ice...indirectly saying - we aren’t going in yet, and also saying, you don’t really know what you want.  Over an hour later, we were all ready to go in.  All happy, all well played, and we now have a boy who has learned that he loves to play outside in the winter.  

Turns out kids didn’t always know what they want - and definitely not what they need.  No disrespect to kids intended, but, once we hear where they are coming from, we have to step back and look at the big picture.  What’s going on, and how can we help them realize their God given potential.  It is awesome being a parent who has the honor and privilege of shaping, guiding, and at times pushing kids into something beyond what they can become on their own.

Yep - Life is Good!

FOR THE RECORD - I’m no parenting guru, don’t think I have all the answers, and I believe that there are many more great way to parent than most people hung up on one ideology can acknowledge.  Love God, love your kids and go for it!

And I guess this goes back to what I said about myself in December - if what I want isn't always the best, how could it be for kids?

fed up with technology...

I found myself saying all sorts of not nice things about computers and technology last month.  It wasn’t that anything all that awful was happening... no crashing mother boards, no hard drive failures, no corrupted data... it just wasn’t easy.   

To do what I wanted to, it all seemed to take five steps and three different programs.  Part of this was brought on by a new server and workstation computer at work.  I had to take the time to set things up... again.  Some of it was helping others do the same, and the challenge of forgotten passwords, and what was that again... oh yeah, passwords which were forgotten.  I started resorting to words like hate.  Isn’t that a bit strong for an inanimate object which was just doing what it was programed to do?  

But then I switched to our new website.  I switched to a new e-mail system to handle all our accounts.  I switched to a new group communication service... (just call me pastor of technology) I was setting myself up for full technological armageddon.  But guess what, all this provided an epiphany.  I am not fed up with technology - I’m just fed up with technology which isn’t easy.  Just when technology reached the point of impossible complexity the geeks of the world delivered - and I must say, just in time.  

You can now have your phone, e-mail, web, music, movies, and games all in one device - and it doesn’t require a 200 page manual to operate.  (just a monthly contract I’m not willing to pay for - but wi-fi is my friend).  I can set up an completely new website in days, not months.  It can be edited by multiple staff members, and none of us have to deal with code, pixels, or ftp...(unless I want to release my inner geek from time to time).  The geeks of the world have learned the art of hiding their geekiness.  Hip, cool, simple and easy to get along with on the exterior - amazingly powerful, complex and fully nerdy on the inside.  It is a great recipe to avoid getting abused by the world; whether you are a smartphone, power-nerd or a computer.   

I’m ready once again to enjoy a friendly and fruitful relationship with technology.

NOTICE: This e-mail in no way endorses, condones or encourages negative feelings or action is toward geeks who are geeks through and through. In case you missed the fall - bullying is bad.