I can't even sleep like I want...

I am 39 years old, and I can’t sleep like I want to.  My young boys can sleep in any position they choose, from sprawl to a ball, front, back or sideways.  They wake up in the the morning, and they are good to go.  Upon returning from Israel, it was confirmed, this is no longer true for me.  Let me explain, and then share my life corollary.

For some time my neck and upper back have been funky.  When it would get too bad I would go and get straightened out by our great chiropractor.  He would ask about my sleep positions - back: good, side with enough pillow: good, stomach: bad.  I didn’t sleep on my stomach, I slept on my side with an additional ¼ turn (i.e., a pillow under one arm and shoulder).

Well, for my two weeks in Israel it was a twin bed every night (and no beautiful wife, but that is unrelated to the matters at hand).  At 6’4” I don’t fit well on twin beds, and there was absolutely no room for a side+1/4-turn sprawl.  So it was back or side, and ya know what - my neck was better.  Now maybe it was a miraculous Holy Land healing - but I have a hunch God wasn’t working overtime on this one.  Once I was back in a queen sized bed (with a beautiful wife) the pains started again.  So as not to start any spurious rumors, my wife is not a pain in the neck.

Forced discipline was required to sleep only on my back or side.  I had to take away my beloved extra pillow, and push through a few restless nights.  I wanted to go back to the comfort of side+1/4-turn sprawl, for I knew that in a few moments I could be sound asleep, but what I wanted and what I needed were not the same thing.  And so, as I laid there awake, desiring comfort but going for well being, I thought:  Isn’t this true beyond my pain in the neck...

We are led to believe that we can figure it out for ourselves, just by relying on what feels right.  We are led to believe that our intuition can be trusted to take us to the right place.  We know what we need, and what is going to be best for us - right?  It doesn’t appear so.  The obesity epidemic of America speaks against this.  The highest rate of incarceration in the developed world speaks against this.  The dramatic increase in the use of anti-depressants and psychoactive drugs speaks against this.  Left to our own devices, we feel good in the moment, but are left bent out of shape in the long run.

So as I pursue God, I work hard not to create God in my image, but rely on the most trustworthy resource I have found, the Bible.  But even in that, it is clear I need the help and guidance of others who have more wisdom, and the corrective nature of true friends.  When I parent my children, I must use sources beyond their desires, beyond my best intentions, seeking what will guide them to be the men of God which I believe will be in their best interest.  When I make financial decision... when I choose my diet... when I decide how to sleep - I can’t even sleep how I want to...unless I want to be bent out of shape.  Thus my joy that God has reached into this world, revealed divine wisdom, and not left us to our own devices.  The joy of Christmas!