Life in a Fishbowl

I'm not Schwarzenegger, Lohan, or Jolie; with millions of people gawking at the details of my life. However, there is a very real fishbowl aspect to my life as a pastor. And from the time I arrived at DRC I've decided to embrace this reality. There was an exercise of intentional pendulum swing - from privacy to public - when we lived our first year or so without any sort of blinds on the downstairs windows of our house. I forced a mental conversation, "yes, people are watching... and that's okay."

Hopefully I'm never as interesting as those who grab the headlines. But hopefully God is working in my life in such a way that there are things which people can benefit from by watching. It isn't about being perfect. I think some pastors avoid the fishbowl because they think they have to be perfect in everyones' eyes, but know they can't. I know I won't be perfect in everyones' eyes - if for no other reason than there are so many different definitions of perfect... (oh, and then there is the fact that I'm far from perfect)  So I seek to live my life, and if people choose to watch, that's okay - it is part of the call to which God has called me.

I want others to see that abnormal has its benefits. Normal is totally missing out on the joy and blessing (and great sex) of marriage. Normal is striving after things which will not satisfy. Normal clinging to money, but never having enough - heck, normal is functionally broke. Normal is fractured relationships which fester as wounds which will not heal. Normal is giving lip service to being a Christian, but not having God as the top priority in your life and experiencing the freedom and peace that comes with it.  Normal is having kids, but barely having a family.  I don't claim to have it all figured out, or that I'm getting it all right - but I know who does, and I'm seeking to follow Him. And as a pastor I'm in a position where I'm watched - because what I preach better make a difference, and let it begin with me.

However...
Jesus lived with his disciples. He didn't swoop in, teach, and then go back to his other life. But at times he did pull away, to be out of the crowds, to be away from those he shared life with daily, to spend some time in a opaque fish bowl. I think that is part of sabbatical, to step away from all that is my normal ministry. And part of my ministry, part of my fishbowl, is blogging - so for now I'm going to pull down the blinds of my blog...