Yes, I watch Survivor - finding redemption

Right now, there is only one show I try and see every week - Survivor.  My wife says I shouldn't admit it, but some time after Wednesday I go to cbs.com to watch what happened to this season's castaways.  It is fascinating to watch the relationships, the motivations of people, the manufactured suspense - it is a bit of societal research.  I've noticed something interesting this season, but to grasp what I'm talking about, you will need to bear with me as a I fill in the non-survivor watchers about this season's "new twist."

The sub-title this season is, "Redemption Island."  The "twist" is that when someone is voted off, they are not gone for good, but sent to live by themselves on Redemption Island (though I see no real indication they are on an actual island).  Then, when the next person is voted off, they too are sent redemption island, where the two face off in a duel - the winner remains, the loser is gone for good.  At some point in the game, the person who has survived redemption island is brought back in and rejoins the tribe.

This season, the second person voted off was Matt.  Matt is self identified as a committed Christian.  This always makes me, as someone who goes by the same label, a little nervous.  But Matt was seemingly voted off because he was a nice guy, because he was bonding with people, because (from what I could tell) he was doing his best to be like Jesus.  He didn't preach, he didn't annoy - I'm liking Matt.  And Matt is still on the show - he has won four duels so far on redemption island - every time pulling up from behind and winning.

But here is the observation:  Matt understands the concept of redemption.  Others on the game do not.  A few people were able to observe the redemption duel, and then report back to the whole tribe what happened.  Matt said to the host something along the lines, "If I can pull this off, it will be greatest story of redemption in Survivor history."  Being one of the first to Redemption Island, he knew that if he could win all the challenges and make it back into the game, it would be amazing, and something worth talking about.  A story of redemption.

But when it was reported back to the tribe, the observers said, "yeah, Matt was all talking about revenge."  At first I thought they must not have heard him right, but then I realized, they might not have the frame work to think like Matt was thinking.  Yes, he was blind-sided.  Yes, he was voted out for being a nice guy.  But Matt wasn't focused on revenge, they couldn't fathom this.  Matt has a faith which helps him grasp forgiveness.  But he also understands the glory of redemption - being restored, bought back, getting another chance.

Redemption - it is not a common theme today.  It will be fun to see if Matt can redeem himself in the game of Survivor, but regardless, he knows that he can never redeem himself in the reality of life.  For the redemption that really matters, we must rely on something beyond ourselves.

To Redeem:

• to make up for; make amends for; offset (some fault,shortcoming, etc.)
• to obtain the release or restoration of, as from captivity, by paying a ransom.

better than melting snow

Each day the snow is receding.  The frozen remains of a well defined winter are losing their mass, and the promise of new life is here.  There is only one problem when the snow is melting - it is ugly!

As the snow melts, all the debris of winter is exposed.  Our back yard is not yet bright and green, nor is it crisp and white.  Instead it is grey, and not just grey, but covered with twigs, dead pine needles, bits of mud and decomposing grass.  Each snow storm this winter dropped another beautiful covering of white, everything looked perfect, but it was really just a cover up.

I'm so glad this isn't the experience of forgiveness.  Forgiveness is tricky business, because it is impossible to undue what has been done, the nature of consequences is that they happen, and forget about making yourself forget... it doesn't happen.  Yet my deepest desire is that when I'm forgiven all is made new, a fresh start, things are "as white as snow."  Have you experienced "snow job" forgiveness in your life.  It all looks crisp and white, but then in time (maybe the heat of life) the covering melts away, and all the garbage is still there.  This isn't the forgiveness we desire, nor is it the forgiveness modeled by God.

Yes, the connection of snow and forgiveness is biblical.  God puts this offer out to his people through the prophet Isaiah.   "Come now, let's settle this," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow." (Isaiah 1:18)  But this speaks of a transformation, not a covering.  The forgiveness God can make happen is as radical as turning blood red to pure white - no easy feat.  In fact, it sounds about impossible.  The other primary reference to this imagery is in the deepest cry for forgiveness found in Psalm 51.  The poem of a repentant king who has committed adultery and murder.  He cries, "Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." (Psalm 51:7)  The cleansing God can perform goes beyond a cover up.  

The way of the world is a balance of good for evil; getting the karma balance leaning in your favor.  The best forgiveness most people can image is a covering, a blanket of snow covering the debris and damage.  But the message God gives in the Bible and makes real in Jesus is of the impossible.  God makes the stain of blood turn white, and removes the debris of life as far as the east is from the west.   It is thrown behind his back, it is remembered no more, it is gone - not buried waited to be exposed in the next season.  It is gone.

And the opportunity for health offered to those who are following Jesus Christ is to not only receive this forgiveness, but also to extend it to others.  For when we forgive as we have been forgiven we experience true freedom.  When you forgive others, your forgiveness can move closer to the forgiveness God offers when you make the following commitments:

• I will not dwell on the incident (don't do mental replays)
• I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you
• I will not talk to others about this incident
• I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our relationship

This is modeled after the forgiveness God offers through belief and acceptance in Jesus's sacrifice. When we make these commitments we move closer to accomplishing the impossible here on earth.  It is not easy, it is not simple, and we have to grow in our ability to offer it - but as we get better at truly forgiving, we will experience more of the abundant life Jesus offers.

[If you want to read more on this I recommend The Peace Maker by Ken Sande - where the above list is taken from]

Hebrews 10:17-20 Then God says, "I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds."  And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.  And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus.  By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place.   

It doesn't take a mountain...

This was an after thought which I had before I wrote about boys becoming men, which is reinforced by my last blog...

While out on the front lawn of the church watching my boys and a friend having a wonderful time sledding, it struck me - it doesn't take a mountain to have a great time.  I would have never considered the slight roll from the fellowship hall down toward the sidewalk a hill, and definitely not a sledding hill.  However, this winter the snow piles around the parking lot (mind you they did top 10 ft) have become icy summits for Tobiah and the decline out front a great sledding hill.

Prior to his requests to play within 250' of home, any thoughts of sledding involved (in my mind) loading everyone and everything into a vehicle, driving to a park with a significant sledding hill, and making an event of it.  As a result, it only happened a few times a year.  We did go there this year, and it was a fun afternoon, but no more fun than what my boys created for themselves standing, diving and rolling on the gentle knolls in the heart of Delmar.

This all relates to a blog I wrote in my head before I wrote blogs, and have yet to create - "pacing pleasure."  The gist of which is; if kids experience most everything before becoming a teenager, what's left?  I won't fully develop the thought here, but it was a reminder that being a "6-pack" (or in our case a 5-pack, see previous entry) is more important than doing it all, or making everything "special."  When kids find the joy in the simple (a little hill), the mundane (making a toy rocket from things in the junk drawer), the family (making an adventure video in the basement with two brothers), they will experience a richer, fuller life.  Richer and fuller than if I take them to the mountain, theater, or program any time they need something to do.  They don't need a mountain.

Here in the suburbs I feel guilty having the kids here in and around the house all day.  How strange it that?
What about a Sabbath - isn't rest from a full schedule good?  How about pacing pleasure?  Why do I think they need to have programs and activities to go to any time the schedule is open?  If they are out and about being "enriched," we can't be a 5-pack.  My kids are well above average on the enrichment scale, yet I feel a suburban pressure to fill every moment, but I resist.

I guess I'm good with some rural country living right in the heart of the burbs...

A Lesson in Fathering

Yesterday I witnessed a great lesson in being a father.  It wasn't in a class, through a book, or interacting with my kids - it was at a funeral.  I wish every dad in the throes of raising children could have been there, but as a weak substitution, I want to record a glimpse of Donald Jameson and the celebration of his life.

Don died suddenly at age 84, he seemed much younger.  Don and his wonderful wife Louise were active here at Delmar Reformed Church.  The morning of his death I met with Louise to talk about the new small group Bible study they were going to start as part of our Berea Groups.  He wasn't planning on going anywhere soon...

What about fathering lessons? Well, they came from his children.

Three of their four children shared at the funeral.  What they shared was a picture of great fathering.  There were stories of fond memories, there were laughs and tears, but without trying, each child painted a piece of a picture of why I could meet together with a family, that in the midst of an huge lose, demonstrated a real hope, a deep love, and a true faith.  They had a great dad.

Don worked hard, it was clear that in his long career with IBM he put in a lot of time with big blue.  He also put in hours with their church (Woodstock Reformed Church - yes, located at "that" Woodstock).  While his commitment to work was evident, and his grounding in the love of Jesus was the foundation of his life, it was his devotion to being a husband and father which defined his life.  And apparently he did it well.

Some things which came through as his children shared - my lessons:

• Play - Don had fun with his kids.  He took the time to get down on the floor and play.  
• Time - Don clearly took the time to be with his kids.  One of the fond memories was a time in life when due to a transfer and move, every day he drove the kids to a school in a different district.  He allowed this inconvenience to be a treasure, a treasure of time and talking with his kids (he even let the oldest run the stick shift in the 1961 VW bug).
• Discipline - Each of the kids who shared pushed the boundaries, tested the limits, and (even two of them are now ordained and in ministry) they were not saints.  Don discipled in love.  He didn't let them get away with anything, but because of his love and devotion to them, it was his disappointment they dreaded the most.   (Silence was not golden in this case)
• 6-Pack - "We were a 6-pack."  The family unit was a unit.  They did a lot together.  There were six in the car, six in the hotel room, six even in the tent when camping.  It sure seems that the focus was much more on six together than everyone having their own activities.  When the kids were young each kid did not head off into their own team, activity or screen - they were a 6-pack.  Beyond even just meals together, it was life together as a family, and Don's effort in this shows in deep family bonds today.
• Interest - Don took an active interest in each of their lives, and continued to do so.  This continued right into the grandkids.  The kids knew they were loved, and it was shown also in genuine interest.
• Push - When they took the boat to go skiing, Don had a test to see if they were ready.  The kids had to jump out in the deep water, without a life vest, and he would drive away.  They had to swim back to the boat.  If they made it they were ready - thankfully, they were all ready!
• His Focus was Fathering - After knowing Don and Louise for seven years, meeting with his family twice in funeral preparations, an hour long funeral filled with great sharing, talking during the reception, reading the obituary - I can't tell you about a single hobby, interest, or past-time beyond family and church.  Maybe he had them, but they were secondary.  Actually, it just came to me, his son talked of playing golf - but it sure seems like it was about the people he was with, not the game he was playing.

Don leaves a legacy.  A legacy built on loving God, serving the church of Jesus, and being a devoted father.  He did it God's way - and was truly blessed.